We are to mentor, not intimidate. Lead rather than demand blind obedience from public and private shaming. Death by lecture is a parent trap that mames the parent or authority. Authoritative tenderness is the answer. Inform to reform. Stand and be the argument rather than argue endlessly into infinity with duplicity of empty words.
Strong-arm tactics by shaming show the lack of persuasive power. Persuasion leads a person to hear a voice other than the voice of the persuader. Spirit awakening by rediscovering the voice-spirit in another is what I call voice recognition that actives heart touch.
A heart touched rather than lectured is a treasure indeed.