When my hope is greater than my luck the internal walls of self protection come tumbling down. People sent for me surround and walk around those walls until they crumble and fall. Those walls of frozen pain and anger melt slowly away from the words of those who heal. I am introduced to the real me as I begin to regain sight of me as my eyes widen with understanding and confidence of evolving self knowledge. To have walked so long with someone I hadn’t met is difficult which is often why life seemed so hard and superficial. That someone turns out to be the true me. Thus love others includes loving yourself and it affects the way I relate to others.
But, before this transformation I didn’t really know who I was. So when I meet someone that brings out my true self often referred to as the best in me, living becomes so much more that I dreamed. This newly discovered potential which seems too good to be true can create more dread than the fear of bad luck. Psalm 126
I begin to realize how much I have learned to motivate myself by fear using negative thinking techniques. “I don’t want to…”, “I can’t….”, “I never….”, “I won’t…”, What if…?”, Yeah, but…”. As my self introduction unfolds I start cutting away at who I am not or am no longer. The energy released is then rechanneled for a different and much more productive battle of regaining my thought processes and overpowering the negative tendencies in my thinking that blinded and deafened me to myself and others. I begin to judge another's motives less harshly and more with good judgement. 2 Corinthians 10:4,5
On discovering the value of who I am, risk has grown because that recognition is a lot to lose now. Yet brought to the surface is my vested interest in unbelief. Many of my commitments are based on the old distorted views.
The unfolding or “exposure” of me is often a slow and painful process of freeing the mind. The experience is that my head repeatedly seems to be hurting from overwhelming , yet exhilarating momentary losses of words. I can’t help but take a deep breath since no ”self help” is needed and the right words are given to me in time. Judges 13:17,18
My tears, hidden behind the cheeks that now declare “slippery when wet”, become far more sensitive, yet eerily more confident than before. Psalm 69:6
Fear and dread begin the transformation process into the practical necessities of courage and confidence. Psalm 138:3.
Celebrate! as the future becomes something to look forward to and the past now energizes the present. Isaiah 8:12,13