Garbage bin there done that.
Viewing entries in
Thoughts
Healing the broken language of the wounded in order to fully experience the profound moments of living reality out of which flows the expression "I am what I am."
We can't produce perfection. In fact perfectionism procastinates obedience out of faith leading to forms of self-hatred rather than disgust with our selfishness. Often lost is a continual experience of inclusion from being born into a family whose head is perfection that gives meaning(winsome spirit) to all we do through access to him. Ephesian 3:12 Only wisdom can interpret failure correctly.
There is no tenderness without understanding. There is no understanding without tenderness. The great attempt, putting God in a box, the mind lustfully flirting with the heart, forcing the heart to take the beautifully masked punches. But our head begins to hurt from the heart’s wounds. The sore hands of the mind from trying to wrap itself around the Infinite, finally pull back, now, too tender. Without tenderness there is no understanding. Job 17:2-4
The politically incorrect who, having become gentle and patient though often not prudent and polished, refuse to be the Hairy that won't meet Sally where she is. Genesis 33:14
Security through risk of commitment. Hebrews 11:1-2
Date of birth and date of death have no power to bear fruit. It's relationship that bears fruit, not dating. John 15:5
There's a swan in the room rather than an elephant. The elephant is the one that died after the song. Psalm 40:3
Affection given based on who I am rather than what I want.
Heir conditioner. Proverbs 25:15
Every now and then.
The anxiety of what and who I don't yet know drives me right up to the places I don't want to go.
Places of waiting where listening becomes a must.
False humilty no longer planting my face in the dust.
Always knowing I could be running yet only trudging along
gladly singing the song of sadness, knowing it was the wrong song.
Until I know how to finish this poem, I retreat and reflect on the deep sadness I experience when I refuse to risk walking into the unknown through which this anxiety wants to carry me.
How often I follow my head(logic) when there is a gap(deep darkness) before the next logical step. My head says to turn left or right to avoid the crash. This crash or gap is what I refer to as internal bleeding.
It is here where I'm torn either away from my logic into wisdom or torn internally by refusing the wisdom given me. I can follow what appears as emotional familiarity(logical) or begin to risk following the dark newness of emotional intimacy. These two states(of being) continuously crash into one another more often than I like to admit.
Yet wisdom takes my gap theory(avoidance) into intimate emotional fellowship with myself and others when obedient to this wisdom.
This is true suffering, not just bleeding blackness.
Feather bedlam. Ezekiel 17:1-12