Taking a stand under deep conviction, grieving the loss that comes with it, and empowered with the ability to celebrate a new day to take names.
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Thoughts
A sheep in wolf's clothing.
You can laugh at my purpose but you can't laugh it out of me. I once read you can't wise-crack your way to greatness. Though scorn and ridicule are a reality, there is a blindness by grace to their distractions.
Gentle men often have the appearance of coming in last so that the first may be last.
Getting your but in shape. Romans 3:21
I hear the roar of the twenties. The engines are starting. The teens are parting. The flame burned the old frame.
Bring in the new. The new catalogue of creativity.
Not idly stting by, but waiting to be revealed
as high-flooten and well-heeled.
Watch out drama junkies! Drama mama is energized.
No longer pragmatized. No longer flower child
but bloomin freaking girl gone wild!
I wrote this for my daughter Sarah on her 20th birthday in 2005. Reading her blog http://sarahhartsu.blogspot.com/ today and seeing her fresh burst of creativity brought this to mind.
We must remember that we are not always fighting fire with fire. The opaque veil of self is something that needs to be removed daily; the Helmet of Salvation, the hope, doesn't seem to fit quite right when there is something blocking my vision and impairing my hearing.
When a spiritual problem arises, a natural reaction is to find something physical to fight it with. We hope that the pain will go away, but we are ill-equipped when using weapons that are irrelevant to the battle. Our guns backfire on us. How do we move in the direction of what we hope for if we are standing in our own way?
I can begin to lift the veil when I understand what my true hope is. If He will increase, then I will decrease. If we feel the cold breath of death blow against our necks, we can rest assured knowing that something greater, or Someone unexplainable, is filling our hearts with life, making them beat louder than bombs, and blowing us away into abundance.
Let us move forward with our hope fitting so tightly around us that the veil has nowhere to rest.
Psalm 42:7 One of the most misinterpreted and misunderstood words is grief. For the sake of us all being on the same page, we must recognize this as deep sorrow, and even more so, as a celebration. Of course, grief is usually attached to someone or something that has been lost, so the thought of grief being a celebration can be hard to comprehend.
When I'm grieving over a loss, what I'm actually doing is celebrating my understanding. It's important not to confuse grief and celebration as two opposite reactions, because the two work hand-in-hand to further understanding. This is evident in funerals that seem to be filled with smiles and laughter, just as much as tears. The pain of the loss is there, but so is the realization of how much the person meant to us.
We can rob ourselves of the understanding when we decide to grieve in the way our society expects us to. Assuming that grief is void of emotion is just as wrong as assuming emotion is void of grief. And, just as our emotions can run in unexpected patterns, so must our grief. Unfortunately, people will mistake spiritual maturity with controlled emotions, and therefore believe in an imaginary timeline for grieving, and even more so, celebrating. How many times have you felt pressure to "get over" what ever loss you experienced because you were afraid people would think you're throwing a pity party? How often do you restrain your celebration for an achievement for fear of being perceived as prideful? These are both false displays of humility.
If you want to walk the narrow road, walk with the certainty that the pain is to come with the loss, but the grief in the celebration will lead to deeper understanding. This makes it possible for there to be joy in suffering.
No longer forgetting what the other didn't say. Listening for the peace underlying the language of the heart and mind. Believing in one another in order to catch him or her doing something right and repeatedly affirming them despite evidence to the contrary. The language we have is the vehicle to understanding(discovering) this mysterious essense of who we are and what we are to do together in real time.
How often this question comes up from a headless body! I call this defining goals only of the mind rather than the heart(mind over what really matters). Not that "What's ahead?" is always the wrong question, but that it can reveal a demand to understand(plan without trust) by rebelling againt authority and conviction in real time.
The Source of directon speaks through God's word by unfolding as a dream(to imagine) or as a vision recognizing the beginning of a story wrapping in one that is already ongoing. This story(not game) allows for the opportunity to trust rather than plan or to plan as a result of trust. Very few, if any, well laid plans didn't require change through their course of execution. Yet without trust, guidence becomes illusive and disconnected expressed as "A part of me feels this, but a part of me feels that". Many seek affirmation and information at this point rather than true guidance and leadership. This badly needed(hunger for) affirmation is clothed in a cleverly disguised question of "What do I do?".
I must learn to stop running toward my agenda at this point at least long enough to take in(receive) a deep breath of life(revelation). To know myself as one who is loved as the least of these rather than as the prideful greatest is liberating. The natural tendency is to demand understanding of what's ahead based on conscious or unconscious fear of judgment. To run again(start fresh) bathed in mercy over judgment is no longer grieving the Holy Spirit that results in leaving me at the mercy of my judgmental intellect.
So what is often the culprit alongside a lack of trust? Agenda-based disobedience because of self-worship. This worship of self always does something good that requires no suffering on my part(though it often requires the suffering of others to carry it out). It even protests or fights against something that appears bad(evil) when in reality this something or somene is messing with or revealing my agenda.
The theme of refusal to suffer for others in life is driven by not letting others in close enough to truly suffer for us. A few of the many reasons for this are deep insecurity, procrastination prolonging self-hatred, and because allowing others that far in can wreck our selfish agendas.
The medicine Man has His eye on the medicine bawl. James 5:16 I have to be led to this place by another over and over until I see Him through another and his words/silence as the one who sees me. Genesis 16:13
Once I realize that He hasn't turned away, I now look for guidance in companionship. Psalm 32:8
From profession to confession to expression. Galatins 5:6
It's hard to break(brake) the habit of digging up the old to make an excuse for a new and improved version versus digging into the new. We tend to recycle what is already known in new ways rather than discerning new discoveries about who we are and what we are to do; for that is the very best even when we don't do our best. Our deep need for bragging rights as self-made self-starters often demands that we be the best at expense of the best. Why is this? We direct tremendous effort in trying not to fail rather than the creative tension in our life brought on by the Holy Spirit where we no longer have to try not to fail. Romans 3:21
We either succeed or fail with victory because we learn from our mistakes. Wisdom from the Holy Spirit when led by faith interprets the failures for us as training, learning, discipline, or a combination.
Creatively receive the very best as it is discerned and live that out in real time(heart bent).
We are not to be remembered as having Fled the Flint Stone. Torch out(Be still) and Peace in(then rock on), but not returning to folly. Isaiah 50:7-11
The surge of affection that transcends the insurgent feelings. The surge of feelings without affection, or feelings that refuse affection, keep me stuck to the pew in fearful anticipation of losing(near miss) first right of refusal without commitment. Affectionate love keeps me stuck on you, not the pew. Yet this love carries with it the surge-protected(less impulsive) freedom to ask the questions and share things that are important to me about you and me without stealing, killing, or destroying your own affections and feelings by my lack of discipline.
The cleansing descent to the height of awareness. James 4:7-10