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Thoughts

Basket Case

Even Moses was at one time a basket case as a child. Exodus 2:3-4 We must return as a child to have us transformed- found and lifted- by the basket-case feeling of our lives being opened so it no longer is a cold case. It's as an adult child that we feel silly and embarassed as to what really matters to us, yet we begin to share those things anyway at the risk of being shamed. We tend to weave our own basket case into which we hem ourselves where the hem of the Garment cannot be touched.  

Know before you sew.

Intellectual Cowardness

When I substitute image for intimacy.  By denying my intuitive longing for a moral choice to be made that answers what truly matters, I intellectually deny my purpose-driven arguments that would take me there.  Intellectual cowardness leads only to deep frustration and I move into my head to live rather than using my head to live out a true life of purpose based on a Promise that there is an Anchor full of promises.

Revenge

There is a hurt that hurts others. It can start out as a crutch that allows healing until one can walk again. But a crutch can change form into revenge that makes it impossible to walk again without also trampling on another's ability to walk. A Cain doesn't make you Abel.

Heir Conditioner

The heir becomes thin at higher altitudes. The higher we're lifted, the more that must roll off the back.

Balaam Out

When my ass gets handed to me it's oftentimes because my ass is scared. A wagging tail is not always a "happy ending".

Dumb Ox or Ass

A lot of work can be done while listening, though it's often misinterpreted early in the process. Proverbs 20:5

Double Meant

Ever feel when that you are speaking it’s not from the heart? We often speak as if we are in a movie that is dubbed with someone else’s language or we are our own body double. The language used is someone else’s opinion or something we believe we are expected to say. In the presence of someone that is truly listening, words tend to begin to flow from a place that often brings tears, a feeling of shame, vulnerability, as well as feeling slightly dumb. This is because we often take a drubbing when dubbing is stopped. Speaking from the heart appears threatening to others and even to ourselves.

Please don’t confuse this with being honest because honesty is not always accuracy. Pouring one’s heart out begins with the removal of stammering when asked deep questions from someone who not only cares, but knows how to care for you.

Making sense becomes less important by taking the focus off what others think of you as you speak. The growing confidence replaces the need to be understood by revealing how much you know and understand your own life, passion, as purpose. 

As others begin to speak this way with me, the common and oft repeated question is “Am I crazy?” When you know yourself well enough to “speak for yourself” not only does it feel as crazy as a roller coaster ride, but also feels like a kid or silly.

Celebrate and share what you truly know. Discover more about yourself even when you reach a point where things seem to make less and less sense. That point is the pitchfork in the road, so feared that if I had only been dumb(crazy) enough to continue, I would have found the fountain of my youth i.e my heart in the matter.

Don’t dumb yourself down by dubbing any more than is necessary, but stammer your way into the intimacy of fluent self-awareness that speaks “I am dark, yet lovely.’

Mentor

A hand under a wing.

Controlling

The unconscious embrace of shame.

Random Thoughts on the Negative Side of Ego

Leads to misunderstandings, reinforces prejudice to produce reactions. Sees life as a game instead of story. It lives to make points to score points. It will confirm negative impressions by judging to keep a distance while appearing as involved. Blames and blames.  

Ego is easily threatened thereby justifying in its often brutish and or violent reactions.  Leads to counter-reactions that turn into a vicious circle. Takes positions without considering common interests for the good.  Constantly sets people straight while crooked within its self. Sees people as problems to remove or solve as a computer would. Limits decisions by others by narrowing others' vision.

Listens with half a mind for what it agrees with to defend positions already taken and then rejects the rest.   Thinks seriously but not in order to know, but to prove. Kills the use of language that keep emotions alive by saying things like you are too emotional.

By defending its position it deceives others to their true desires by obscuring what they really want. Punishes more than rewards. Tries to gratify by symbols of wealth, power, prestige, or position because symbols can be manipulated. Plans rather than trusts.   Works from a calculating without contemplative(relational movement) mind set. Tries to be strong whether sound or not.

Speaks offensively from being defensive. So rigid in belief that it distrusts any spontaneous feelings of anger, grief, or dissent. Pays attention without giving its attention. Deceitful and competitive by choosing blindness. Incessant talking that loses awareness of persons as it works for ideals, goals, or programs.

Gets even instead of sad. Demands that others give until it hurts rather than hurting when ceases to give. Cannot love without arrogance by always thinking it knows what is best for someone else.   Has a god complex by confusing dignity with deity. Forces others to court suffering and guilt while refusing the two in its own life.

Thinks the ache in a soul is neurosis rather than awakened maturity. Thinks itself an expert because it has suffered. Speaks to perform, not necessarily communicate. Brings truth through cool self-righteousness that renders it useless. Content with fruit it once bore.   Will study to interpret rather than observe. Uses human reasoning rather than practical wisdom in spiritual matters.

Thinks domination is spiritual or spirit led. Locked into legalistic religious debates. Boasts of its love rather than the One who loves it. Ignores deep feelings of others by manipulating their intellectual beliefs. Brutally honest when criticizing others rather than brutally honest to uncover their own pain. Debates when mediation is better. 

Saves face at all costs when loss is near or realized. Refuses failure therefore kills inspiration by replacing it with dominance through coercion or manipulation.

Compassion

Compassion leads to the growing realization of how deep the pain really is. It allows one to move towards and stand still beside the one who is hurting in order to be a vessel for the power needed for healing through connecting.

Maturity

Maturity is not something that comes by time and experience, but by reflecting on our experiences and learning from them. Time does not guarantee maturity, but only experiences. Earning our right to be seen as mature comes not from time but from responsability given that is taken seriously.   As this responsability is demonstrated, the air of superiority in ourselves is removed and our serious side celebrates our learning, no longer celebrating our or others' previous folly or foolish ways.